The Early Days: Can you take us back to the beginning of your journey? What did those early days of hair loss look like for you, and what was the hardest part of trying to “fight” it?
The beginning of my hair loss journey was filled with fear, confusion, and countless questions. I remember desperately trying to understand what was happening to my body. Why was I losing my hair? What was wrong with me? I searched for answers everywhere. I went to doctors hoping someone could explain what was happening, but was told it’s just cosmetic. Instead of finding help and comfort, I left the doctors offices feeling more alone.
What made it even harder was that hair loss had always been connected to cancer in my mind. Growing up, I watched family members go through cancer treatments, and one of my greatest fears as a teenager was losing my hair because, to me, that symbolized being seriously ill. Now I was losing my hair without having cancer, yet I feared people would look at me and make that connection.
The hardest part of loosing the hair was to loose the control. There was nothing I could do about it. As more hair fell out, the fear turned into shame. I felt ashamed of looking different. Ashamed of not recognizing the woman staring back at me in the mirror. Every glance at my reflection felt like looking at a stranger. The person I had always known seemed to disappear along with my hair, and I felt as though I was losing my identity. I withdrew from people and isolated myself because hiding felt easier than facing the questions, the stares, and my own reflection.
The Turning Point: You mentioned that your healing began the moment you stopped fighting and started accepting. Was there a specific moment or realization that triggered this shift for you?
There wasn’t one dramatic moment when I stopped fighting my hair loss. Instead, it was a quiet realization that slowly grew stronger after six months of isolation, sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve always been someone who loves to live, explore, and experience new things. I wasn’t happy living an isolated lifestyle and in summer 2023, I realized I had a choice. I could spend the rest of my life fighting something I couldn’t control, continue hiding and hold myself back, or I could start living the life that was still waiting for me.
That was the moment I decided I didn’t want to give it that power anymore.
Soon after, I started my Instagram account and began searching for a supportive community, people who understood what I was going through and who could inspire me to keep moving forward.
Acceptance didn’t happen overnight. It was a long and sometimes difficult journey. It’s a choice I had to make each day. But that decision to stop letting hair loss control my life was the first step toward healing, self-acceptance, and finding my way back to myself.
The Work of Mindset: Changing one’s mindset is a process. What practical steps, daily habits, or gentle reminders helped you transition into a space of true acceptance?
Absolutely. Changing your mindset is not easy. Many of the beliefs we carry about ourselves are formed long before we are even aware of them. When I lost my hair, I had to question my thoughts over and over again. Was what I was telling myself actually true, or was it fear speaking? Learning that not every thought deserves to be believed was one of the hardest lessons for me.
Changing your mindset takes time, patience, and a willingness to challenge old beliefs. It doesn’t happen overnight, but small daily habits can slowly transform the way you see yourself and your situation.
One of the most important things I did was start my mornings with exercise while listening to uplifting Christian music. Moving my body helped me feel physically strong, and that strength gradually carried over into my mind. Exercise gave me energy, released endorphins, and helped me face the difficult emotions that came with hair loss. It reminded me every day that I was stronger than the fears and lies trying to hold me back.
Another practice that helped me was standing in front of the mirror and speaking positive affirmations to myself. At first it felt uncomfortable, but over time it became a powerful tool. In December 2023, I even created a Christmas calendar where I identified one positive aspect of my hair loss for each day. That simple exercise shifted my focus. Instead of only seeing what I had lost, I began to notice what I had gained.
But the most important part of my mindset shift came through my faith. My relationship with God and the truths I found in the Bible made the biggest difference in my life. Understanding that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that my worth is not defined by my appearance, changed everything.
Redefining Beauty: How has your definition of “beauty” and “strength” evolved since you embraced your alopecia?
Losing my hair forced me to completely redefine what beauty means.
For most of my life, I believed beauty was tied to physical features, long hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, and everything society teaches us to associate with femininity. When I suddenly lost all of those things, I felt stripped of my identity. I looked in the mirror and saw someone who was as far from my own definition of beauty as I could imagine. I only saw a sick and ugly person.
The turning point came when I started taking photos of myself. At first, it was incredibly uncomfortable. I didn’t like what I saw. But little by little, I challenged myself to look longer, to find angles I liked, to see something beyond the hair loss. What began as an exercise in acceptance became a journey of self-discovery.
Over time, I realized that beauty was never in my hair. Beauty was in my smile, my energy, my resilience, my kindness, and the way I chose to show up in the world despite what I was going through. The more I accepted myself, the more beautiful I felt. Today, I genuinely believe that beauty shines from within, and no amount of hair loss can take that away.
My definition of strength changed as well.
Before Alopecia, I thought strength meant pushing through, staying positive, and never showing weakness. Now I see strength very differently. Strength is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It’s being honest about the hard days while still choosing to move forward. It’s showing up authentically, even when you feel scared.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that strength is understanding the difference between what you can control and what you cannot. I couldn’t control losing my hair, but I could control how I responded to it. The day I stopped fighting reality and started embracing it was the day I discovered my true strength.
A Message to Your Past Self: What is one thing you wish you could go back and whisper to the version of yourself who was still terrified and trying to be “brave”?
If I could go back and whisper something to the woman who had just started losing her hair, this is what I would say…
“I know this feels overwhelming. I know you’re scared, ashamed, and in so much pain. Right now, it feels like your whole world is falling apart. But I promise you, these feelings won’t last forever.
Give yourself permission to grieve. Acknowledge every emotion without judging yourself. But don’t build a home in those feelings. They are visitors, not your future.
Take your time, but keep taking small steps forward. Find the tools that help you heal. Speak kindly to yourself. Surround yourself with people who truly understand what you’re going through. A supportive community won’t take your pain away, but it will remind you that you never have to walk this journey alone.
And whatever you do… never doubt yourself. You are so much stronger than you realize. The strength you’re looking for isn’t in your hair, it’s already within you.
One day you’ll look back and realize this journey didn’t just change your appearance, it changed your life. It made you more grounded, more compassionate, more confident, and more unapologetically yourself.
You will discover that your worth was never measured by your hair. And when that day comes, you’ll understand that the confidence, freedom, and peace you’ve gained are worth more than all the hair in the world.
Hold on. Keep believing in yourself. Your future self is waiting for you and she’s happier than you can possibly imagine.
With love
Ulli 🤍
